Recently, I had a foreign friend ask me about the Iowa caucus. They were very confused about the process. I told them that it was really quite simple and gave them the following explanation:
First, you enter the site of the caucus then locate the Shiny Wizard representing the candidate you prefer. You then stand under the brim of his wizard hat with all of the other acolytes.
Then you separate into groups of 3 (anyone left over not able to form a group is killed). One person (the shooter) is given a shot of tequila, one person (the globfrobben) stands to the left of the shooter and one person (the enforcer) stands directly in front of him (or her). The "shooter" then throws the shot of tequila into the face of the "globfrobben" while the "enforcer" punches the "shooter" in the gut with full force. All the time, the Shiny Wizard is raining down dollar bills on the entire affair. This happens 3 times, giving every group member a chance to be the "shooter", the "globfrobben" and the "enforcer". Once the cycle is complete, everyone (in chorus) chants the magical phrase "All hail the shorts of the Pea Dragon!".
At this point, folks are allowed to move to another Shiny Wizard if they desire then the whole process starts over again, only this time with the addition of monkeys (the cute kind like that guy on Friends had).
After 4 hours have gone by, a name is randomly drawn from the Goblet of Fire. This is the candidate chosen from the caucus.